Purpose: What purpose is the gun going to be used for? Obviously if it's going to be an everyday carry gun having a .500 S&W magnum probably won't work for most people, and probably not most people. But it would be a great hunting handgun...conversly a ruger LCP would be one of my last choices for hunting...but it would make a good choice for carry. Pick something that works for what your intended purpose is!
Fit: A handgun needs to fit your hand, period. If it is too big you won't be able to comfortably manipulate it. If it is too small it may literally bite you. Too big or too small also tends to shift in your hand under recoil, and shifting your grip between every shot is going to make follow ups more difficult and take longer. I always tell people to pick up several guns (scheel's works great to actually put hands on a gun) and see what feels right to you. You should be able to reach the trigger with at least the first crease of your index finger, preferably further. You should be able to manipulate all the controls (safety if applicable, magazine release, decocker) withough having to shift your grip too much. The gun should point well for you as well. Meaning when you take a good firing grip on it and bring the sights up to eye level it should line up without any unnatural adjustments. Try the trigger if posssible, or even better actually shoot it if you are lucky enough to live near a place with a range where you can test fire a gun. Finding something that works for you is key.
Caliber: My recommendation is generally .380 or larger in any defensive handgun. There are however instances where this doesn't work. LIke the lady with the .44 magnum. She ended up with a .32 auto pistol because that is what she could effectively use. Too much gun is a mistake a lot of people just starting out tend to make. They read an article that tells them any handgun cartridge that doesn't "begin with a 4" won't cut it. and 9mm is too small and ineffective. I say the .22 you have with you is better than the .44 you left at home. 9mm rounds today and especially the ammunition listed as "+p" has more than enough power to stop an attack, and in fact, has nearly the same ballistics as some of the older .357 rounds. When you factor in the performance of today's defensive rounds, as compared to the "ball rounds" a lot of people are referencing....it's apple's and oranges.
Action type: Should you get a single action? Double? DA/SA, Safe action??? What the hell do these even mean? Well single action means pulling the trigger only does one thing....it releases the hammer to fire the weapon....double action both "cocks" the hammer back and releases it. DA/SA is both....and safe action means there is some kind of safey built right into the trigger...e.g. a glock, or springfield XD. Generally speaking the single action pistols are for people who are more experienced shooters, it's easier to have an "acidental" discharge, and they generally in both revolver and auto form, have eccentricities that require more training and practice to work out. The DA revolver generally doesn't have any extra buttons or geegaws on it so it is just a "point and click" affair, ditto for the DAO auto. The DA/SA guns require you to transition from one trigger pull (DA) to a another (SA) after the first shot, and some people have issues with that. The safe action seems to be the overwhelming choice for police the days (followed by the DAO) for liability issues and ease of training. Generally speaking they are the easiest auto pistols to use and cause people the least issues. They have the ease of a DAO pistol in use with a lighter (generally) trigger pull. Try some different guns and see what feels right to you.
I didn't go into too much detail here, nor did I approach holsters and optional carry methods. I will cover that another day...remember whatever you do choose you need to get proper instruction, and practice as much as possible. Carrying a gun is a big responsibility, and should be treated as such.
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